Egregious Reader

Nearly 1,000 pages on the life and thought of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and I loved it. Eberhard keeps an objective tone, rarely referring to himself in the first person, though on occasion it is necessary, yet, knowing their deep friendship it was easy to feel his affection for the man behind the story he is telling. This is a story of someone going beyond all borders in an effort to take responsibility for his actions. From a very early age Bonhoeffer wanted to be theologian, which surprised his family (his father was a psychiatrist). But after completing his PHD at 21 and writing a dissertation that is still read today, he turned toward pastoral work as more meaningful than mere academic study. He never left behind this pastoral drive and even when his Finkenwalde students were scattered through military conscription and mass printing was illegal, he would hand copy letters in mass to continue to encourage and inform his old students. But he went beyond the church work as well. His ...

Now burn, new born to the world, Doubled-naturèd name,  The heaven-flung, heart-fleshed, maiden-furled Miracle-in-Mary-of-flame, Mid-numbered He in three of the thunder-throne! Not a dooms-day dazzle in his coming nor dark as he came; Kind, but royally reclaiming his own; A released shower, let flash to the shire, not a lightning of fire hard-hurled. From Wreck of the Deutschland by GM Hopkins

I am reading Eberhard Bethge's biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and as he was involved in the coup attempts in Germany I learn some about them. In general, it is important to understand that there were fairly large sections of the Germany population that were against Hitler and the Nazi party, especially regarding the SS and their brutality in military actions. But they were the minority and it was not safe to voice dissent. Wilhelm Canaris was the head of the Abwehr, the German military intelligence service, and he was one of the leaders in the conspiracy. He is the picture to the right. (He, Oster and Bonhoeffer were all executed together in 1945). In September 1939, Warsaw surrendered and Hitler ordered preparations for the invasion of Holland and Belgium. The conspirators hoped that this would wake up the other generals and that they would take an overthrow of Hitler over WWII. And, information about the SS atrocities in Poland began to circulate. "Of course, the ord...

So the next question is conscripted service. Many of the confessing church pastors were conscripted. Bonhoeffer could not see himself fighting for Germany in the coming war. But there was no such thing as consciences objectors, Paul Stohr had already done so, then he was arrested and shot. So Bonhoeffer decided the best plan was to go to America through his connections to teach. His brother Karl-Freidrich had been invited to lecture in Chicago, so they journeyed the Atlantic together. But from the moment he arrived he questioned his decision. Even on the ship over, he wrote about the necessity of being where God is, where God has led us ... "He takes us with him. Or have I, after all, avoided the place where he is? The place where he is for me? No, God says, you are my servant." Right after he arrives he writes in his journal: With all this, only Germany is missing, the brothers. The first lonely hours are difficult. I do not understand why I am here, whether it was a s...

Throughout 1939, Bonhoeffer came further into the circle of conspirators connected with his brother-in-law Christoph von Dohnanyi. "Until then he [Bonhoeffer] had eagerly looked for people who could summon the courage to say "no" in public, and were willing to accept dismissal from their post as a consequence. Now the period began when it was of utmost importance that people of character remained at the controls at all costs, and did not let themselves be pushed out ... If there was to be a conspiracy, then they had to enter the lion's den and gain a foothold there." There were various questions pulling at Bonhoeffer during this year. First, there was the conspiracy; then there was his continued involvement in the confession church or we might say the German church struggles; then his less and less involvement in the ecumenical movement; and finally there was the question of war and conscripted service. The church struggle came to to fore again when on April...

From The Hitch-Hikers by Eudora Welty I just liked this line: Of course it was by the guitar that he had known at once that they were not mere hitch-hikers. They were tramps. They were full blown, abandoned to this. Both of them were.

From Prayers by Michel Quoist XIV Jesus is Laid In The Tomb ... Men tread in relays the Way of the Cross. The resurrection will only be completed when they have reached the end of the Way. I am on the road; I have a small share of your suffering and the others have theirs. Together we help you to carry the burden that you have as- sumed and made divine. There lies my hope, Lord, and my invincible trust. There is not a fraction of my little suffering that you have not already lived and transformed into infinite redemption. When the road is hard and monotonous, When it leads to the grave, I know that beyond the grave you are waiting for me in your glory. Lord, help me faithfully to travel along my road, at my proper place in the vastness of humanity. Help me above all to recognize you and to help you in all my pilgrim brothers. For it would be a lie to weep before your lifeless image if I did not follow you, living, on the road that ...

"In fact it seems to me (in moments of enthusiasm) that they [primary assumptions in this book] reintroduce common sense into the science of psychology." This is the last sentence of the book and resonates with how I felt about the whole work. Psychology predates the word as it seems to be an attempt to understand and explain the human person. I have always liked the way that Walker Percy points out the fact that psychology and sociology are very much soft sciences ... we are still working on fundamental assumptions and there is no unifying theories (but hundreds of schools of psychology). This is certainly the most technical psychology book I have ever read, but interestingly it is a technical explanation of love as the foundation of human life. Suttie, in opposition to Freud mainly, as well as Adler, argues for the existence of love, of the need for sociology and psychology to come together, for a definition of love does not have to be sexualized, toward an underst...

The "temporary" head of the German church announced in April 1938 that all pastors were to make an oath to Hitler for his birthday: Anyone who is called to a spiritual office is to affirm his loyal duty with the following oath: "I swear that I will be faithful and obedient to Adolf Hitler, the Fuhrer  of the German Reich and people, that I will be conscientiously observe the laws and carry out the duties of my office, so help me God" ... Anyone who was called before this decree came into force ... is to take the oath of allegiance retroactively ... Anyone who refuses to take the oath of allegiance is to be dismissed.    20 April 1938. Dr. Werner. Here again, the confessing church compromised and consented to the oath. Karl Barth writes in response: I am most deeply shocked by that decision and the arguments used to support it ... No one who beseeches you not to jeopardize the future credibility of the Confessing church in this dreadful way? "Bonhoeffer w...

I am not sure all the reasons, but I hate this band. I have tried to listen to them at different times and just tried out their new album on the First Listen show on NPR, but I don't like them. I think its that too-cool-for-school feel they have coupled with their over-the-top sentimental ballads. I don't know anything about playing guitar (don't know how) but I find their pretty sound irritating. On one of the songs, he croons some sweet line and follows it by some bright harmonics and it makes me want to puke. Ok, so I am being a little dramatic. I have friends who like this band, whom I have a lot of respect for their musical selection. I just can't find my way to liking this one, at least not yet. The other song from an older album that really bugs me is "Brooklyn, Brooklyn Take Me In". Its such a lazy little story that simply repeats the age-old I HEART NY cosmopolitan world-weary traveler, blah, blah. Its just awful.

Alexandra drew her shawl closer about her and stood leaning against the frame of the mill, looking at the stars which glittered so keenly through the frosty autumn air. She always loved to watch them, to think of their vastness and distance, and of their ordered march. It fortified her to reflect upon the great operations of nature, and when she thought of the law that lay behind them, she felt a sense of personal security. That night she had a new consciousness of the country, felt almost a new relation to it. Even her talk with the boys had not taken away the feeling that had overwhelmed her when she drove back to the Divide that afternoon. She had never known before how much the country meant to her. The chirping of the insects down in the long grass had been like the sweetest music. She had felt as if her heart were hiding down there, somewhere, with the quail and the plover and all the little wild things that crooned or buzzed in the sun. Under the long shaggy ridges, she felt t...

In December 1935 a new law called "Fifth Decree for the Implementation of the Law for the Protection of the German Evangelical Church" was introduced which made it illegal for any "raising of funds" outside the official German church. It explicitly made training and examinations for pastors illegal. So now, Finkenwalde was confirmed illegal by the state and the future graduates were to go on and hold offices without being able to raise any funds to fulfill those offices. However, for a little while longer, they continued as they had. Bonhoeffer's thoughts on why this was allowed were: "(1) because of the Winter Olympics and (2) because it [the state] does not wish to disturb the Confessing church's self-disintegration." The second statement was not without personal feeling. While most of the Finkenwalde students stayed on even with their future being uncertain, there were those who quietly left the cause for an easier path with the official G...

I have just begun reading this book and it is far more technical psychology than I am able to follow entirely, but I find some of his ideas very interesting and more meaningful than popular Freud (I say it that way because I have never read Freud, but all of us are familiar with many of his ideas). One of his first ideas is that the theories of infants and children as being like primitive animals is entirely wrong. Suttie says: "the child mind is less  like that of primitive animals than is the adult mind ... vastly different from that of free-living, self-supporting animals. Instead of an armament of instincts ... it is born with a simple attachment-to-mother who is the sole source of food and protection." Then he builds from that to argue (mind you I am only in chapter one) that from this primal attachment-to-mother which is stronger in humans than any other animal comes play, cooperation, competition and ultimately culture. This is why "man has become virtually ...

Man's search for meaning and logotherapy (meaning-therapy). I did not realize this was an entire school of psychology. My copy ends with a 34 page bibliography of "english language books on logotherapy." A short form of what Frankl argues is that A) Man (human beings) are self-deteriming, can choose what their existence will be, despite any conditions (background here is that Frankl survived four different concentration camps during the holocaust). B) Human's find meaning in three areas: work, love and suffering with dignity. The book begins with a hundred page description of his experience in the camps. There it is his desire to complete his book (jotting notes when he can and keeping in his pocket); his love of and thoughts of his wife; and in his (and others) human ability to rise above in the most horrible "unavoidable" suffering. (attitude toward unavoidable suffering remains our choice). I am a believer of the view that man is ultimately self-d...

"Having no tradition myself, I used to have a romantic view of tradition. I thought that time really does sift men's acts, that the good they do lives after them and gradually improves their descendants, and that the ill they do eventually writhes in pain and dies among its worshipers. That was real innocence. Everything  we do lives after us." Wallace Stegner The Spectator Bird

This is one I wrote a few years ago ... it was inspired by this 20 minute radiolab (one of my favorite): http://www.radiolab.org/blogs/radiolab-blog/2010/mar/23/the-bus-stop/ Bus Stop by Jason Campbell The colors of the day were brighter than my memory of daylight. Maybe I would go out and find a game of pick-up ball. I wonder if Louvenski would want to help me get up a game. I jump up, slowly, and look for my ball glove. Itʼs got to be around her somewhere. Where is it? I will have to go bare-handed. I must be out. I must go out and find some friends. I canʼt miss this beautiful day. So out of my room I go and down the wide hall toward the sunshine motes floating through glass doors. Its then that someone stops me. Its a nurse or something. A man asking me questions. Why is he doing this? Doesnʼt he know that I want to play ball. My friends are waiting for me. Then suddenly, he letʼs me go. A dim light seemed to register in his head and his l...

from the book Prayers by Michel Quoist: Its from a section called "All life would become a sign" saying "The father has put us into the world, not to walk through it with lowered eyes, but to search for him through all things, events, people ... Long prayers are not needed in order to smile at Christ in the smallest details of daily life." THE BABY The mother left the carriage for a minute, and I went over to meet the Holy Trinity living in the baby's pure soul. It was asleep, its arms carelessly laid on the embroidered sheet. Its closed eyes looked inward and its chest gently rose and fell As if to murmur: This dwelling is inhabited. Lord, you are there. I adore you in this little one who has not yet disfigured you. Help me to become like him once more, To recapture your likeness and your life now so deeply buried in my heart. ******** I think it is that last verse that I like so much. It reminds me of a poem by Matthew Arnold called t...

First, a little refresher on what is going on in the church. The Nazi State moved to greater control of the state church toward everyone implementing the Aryan paragraph which would exclude all non-Aryan's from becoming pastors. This came to a head in April 1933 and through movements within the state church there arose documents, confessions that essentially broke from the state church. So there was a schism with the two groups being the German Christians and the Confessing Church (those who had signed the Barmen Confession). Now all of this could have been very confusing for a regular church attender. To really try and live in their shoes you have to review your history after WWI and the harsh Versailles treaty, the horrible economic situation in Germany, etc. However, that acknowledged, it appears that many of the leaders in the Germany Christian church (the Nazified one) were power hungry. Initially there was a War vet who took over, almost by force: Bishop Mueller. He was n...

The day began and ended with two long services .... The services did not take place in church but around the ordinary dinner table. They began with a choral psalm and a hymn selected for that day. This was followed by a lesson from the Hebrew Bible, a set verse from a hymn (sung daily for several weeks), a New Testament lesson, a period of extempore prayer, and the recital of the Lord's Prayer. Each service concluded with another set verse from a hymn. Only on Saturday did he include a sermon, which was usually very direct. To avoid interpersonal dangers, Bonhoeffer asked the ordinands to observe only one rule--never to speak about another ordinand in the person's absence or to tell that person about it afterward when such a thing did happen. On Sunday's he didn't permit any class work to be done, but organized all kinds of games. When he discovered the inadequacy of his students' literary background he gave them novels. Amid protest that it was a "monkis...

Bonhoeffer grew to be, and in some ways, always was a very open-minded and wide thinker. For all the talk of his fanaticism and dogmatic writings, he kept breaking molds, and having his own molds broken. I feel I can see this happening at 18 when he visited Barcelona and Italy and had strong experiences and dialogues with Catholic believers. You can see it in his visit to America where at first he was turned off by their lack of theological education, but he was ultimately challenged by their social and political actions. You can see it in his involvement in the ecumenical movements. You can see it in his interest in protestant and catholic monastic communities. And another area is his great interest in visiting India and even studying with Gandhi. This was something that was in his plans all along with his stay in London. He saved money and even had letters written on his behalf. Here is one comment from a letter to his brother: "...since I am becoming more convinced each...

Something different this morning. My brother (my wife's brother) mailed us some records for my wife's birthday and this morning I put on Paul Desmond and Gerry Mulligan. I just love this music. Its been a while since I have listened to jazz, but I really enjoy it. Here is a sample -  Stardust

Berry's new book ends with the title story A Place In Time. It takes us right into the present (2008). It mostly tells the story of Mary and Elton Penn who married for love even thought it made for hard beginnings as Mary's family shunned them for their entire lives. At the very end of the story, after Mary and Elton have died, Andy Catlett is talking with their daughter Martha and he hears that once Mrs. Mountjoy (Mary's mother) reached out to Martha ... this was too late and was not reciprocated but it left Andy pondering. "Andy had often proposed to himself that joy, the joy of love or beauty or of work, could so abound in this world that it would overflow all of this world's mortal vessels. But that night he was thinking of sorrow, filled suddenly with the apprehension of such hurt and sorrow as might overflow the capacity of the world, let alone that a mere life. ...      ...He thought, as we all have been taught to think, of our half-lit world, a speck ha...

"If [a composer] has a nice wife and some nice children, how can he let the children starve on his dissonances?" ( CI: A Life With Music 143) Ives made is money selling insurance. "God must get awfully tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, and in His all-embracing wisdom could certainly embrace a dissonance -- might even enjoy one now and again." " Beauty in music is too often confused with something that lets the ears lie back in an easy chair. Many sounds that we are used to, do not bother us, and for that reason, we are inclined to call them beautiful. Frequently,—possibly almost invariably,—analytical and impersonal tests will show, we believe, that when a new or unfamiliar work is accepted as beautiful on its first hearing, its fundamental quality is one that tends to put the mind to sleep. A narcotic is not always unnecessary, but it is seldom a basis of progress ,—that is, wholesome evolution in any creative exp...

A Playful Scripture Poem (for Tara's birthday) "as in fact there are many gods and many lords --- yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist."             1 Corinthians 8 When we were small we looked about and there were giants in our land lords lorded and we cowered or escaped. Sometimes we saw the giants were creatures. Like the old fairy tale, sometimes we opened a kitchen drawer or a box in the garage and our eyes beheld the fragile crying giant heart tucked away from all the little ones looking little inside a box. St. Paul says there are many gods and many lords and I add, in my mind, there are many worlds. There is creation there is history there is work and play there is childhood there is maturity (and immaturity) there is school ...

I came to know Oliver Sacks through the online show Radiolab. He is a regular guest on that show. He begins his book quoting a physician from Glasgow named Ivy McKenzie: "The physician is concerned [unlike the naturalist] . . . with a single organism, the human subject, striving to preserve its identity in adverse circumstances." Dr. Sacks takes this approach throughout, he approaches each patient with all of his scientific knowledge, understanding its great value, but he approaches each one as an individual, as a human who is greater than scientific knowledge. I appreciate the insight from Walker Percy who says that the scientific method, though rich and valuable, can never say anything to the individual human being in their uniquness. (Because it understands the world through finding commonalities). There is a passage in chapter two where Dr. Sacks is working with an amnesiac who is locked in the past and has his memory wiped clean, back to when he was 19, every few...

I finished my first reading of Collected Poems 1957-1982 this morning. I was given this book seven years ago by a friend who still a regular part of my life. It was at my 30th birthday party. In the inside cover I wrote down all the names of the people who came to my party. I can still look over this list and remember how much I enjoyed that part. However, there is also some sadness, as the great majority of those who attended I have lost all contact with. There are circumstances that explain this happening to some extent, but it is decidedly foreign to the world that Berry commends to us in these poems. There are many poems in this collection that are important to me. I will touch on two: This is from At a Country Funeral: But our memory of ourselves, hard earned, is one of the land's seeds, as a seed is the memory of the life of its kind in its place, to pass on into life the knowledge of what has died. What we owe the future is not a new start, for we ca...