Married but not working
1st - Read all the scriptures about marriage. Especially 1 Corinthians 7 and make sure you read it for yourself. Paul says: "To the married I give this command - not I but the Lord - that the wife should not seperate from her husband and that the husband should not divorce his wife." Are you taking this very seriously (you, not your wife that is thinking about leaving you or just might do it)?
Paul and Jesus don't let you work on your relationship with God apart from following his commands. You can't both "seek God for your life" and disobey his commandments.
2nd - Everywhere in scripture it is understood that the man will work to provide for his wife and children. This does not mean the wife doesn't work (in an agricultural context which was true for some of the portions of the bible, both man and wife are financial partners and have chores and duties in their business), but it does mean that the man must be responsible for it all and make sure his wife and kids have shelter, food, and more. There are major physiological reasons for this besides the theological ones. When a woman has a baby she is not physically in the best shape to do anything but care for the new life. The baby needs her mom emotionally and physically. This can only happen if the husband is willing to care for his family through providing and protection.
Theologically ... we have what I might call the practical gospel, the gospel before the gospel or even protoevangelion which literally means "first good news." Man and women disobey and the curse that was their warning falls upon them ... they become mortal. They no longer have access to the tree of life (they are exiled from the garden) and so they will die. BUT in the midst of the pronouncement of this judgement there is hope. The women will have hard and dangerous labor and the man will have hard and dangerous work. "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return to the ground; for out of it you were taken: for dust you are and to dust you shall return." As Leon Kass says; "Sorrow, sweat, toil, and death; the dusty earth opposes his needs, resists his plow, and, finally, devours him whole."
But in the midst of all this hardship that has come upon them, Adam hears good news. His immediate response to the curse is to name his wife Eve, the mother of all living. Adam will face death, but life will continue. "Guided by one glimmer in God's speech to the woman, the soul-saving passion of hope fixes his mind on the singular piece of good news: 'My God! She is going to bear children!' Woman alone carries the antidote to disaster--the prospect of life, ever renewable. ... a child is good because being is good, because life is good, because the renewal of human possibility is good." (Leon Kass again).
So, if men hadn't cared to join hands in marriage and protect and provide for wife and children then all hope would have been dashed. And don't think this hasn't nearly happened a few times. Jesus was born of God and woman, but both he and his mother were cared for by a carpenter.
Salvation comes through Jesus Christ and he is our Lord. But I think a form of salvation comes through practical obedience and through childbirth. I want to be careful, for the child's sake, do not seek to make a baby so you can find the "first good news." But make yourself ready and worthy of a child and you will find fulfillment in that obedience. And practically you will make way for a new life that offers hope of a better life. This is where I might be stepping out on my own ... but I hope that my children have a better life than me. I can't be sure of that, but I am doing my best as a parent in hopes that it will go better for them. Kass again (and finally): "the child unifying the parents as sex or romance alone never can; and the desire to give not only life but a good way of life to their children opens both man and woman toward a concern for the true, the good, and the holy. Parental love of children may be the beginning of the sanctification of life."
So if you are going to find yourself or find God's will for your life or whatever language you want to use, make sure it fits in with his actual commands to protect and provide. Your wife is the bearer of life ... she is a daughter of Eve, the mother of all living. Don't waste such a precious gift.
Paul and Jesus don't let you work on your relationship with God apart from following his commands. You can't both "seek God for your life" and disobey his commandments.
2nd - Everywhere in scripture it is understood that the man will work to provide for his wife and children. This does not mean the wife doesn't work (in an agricultural context which was true for some of the portions of the bible, both man and wife are financial partners and have chores and duties in their business), but it does mean that the man must be responsible for it all and make sure his wife and kids have shelter, food, and more. There are major physiological reasons for this besides the theological ones. When a woman has a baby she is not physically in the best shape to do anything but care for the new life. The baby needs her mom emotionally and physically. This can only happen if the husband is willing to care for his family through providing and protection.
Theologically ... we have what I might call the practical gospel, the gospel before the gospel or even protoevangelion which literally means "first good news." Man and women disobey and the curse that was their warning falls upon them ... they become mortal. They no longer have access to the tree of life (they are exiled from the garden) and so they will die. BUT in the midst of the pronouncement of this judgement there is hope. The women will have hard and dangerous labor and the man will have hard and dangerous work. "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return to the ground; for out of it you were taken: for dust you are and to dust you shall return." As Leon Kass says; "Sorrow, sweat, toil, and death; the dusty earth opposes his needs, resists his plow, and, finally, devours him whole."
But in the midst of all this hardship that has come upon them, Adam hears good news. His immediate response to the curse is to name his wife Eve, the mother of all living. Adam will face death, but life will continue. "Guided by one glimmer in God's speech to the woman, the soul-saving passion of hope fixes his mind on the singular piece of good news: 'My God! She is going to bear children!' Woman alone carries the antidote to disaster--the prospect of life, ever renewable. ... a child is good because being is good, because life is good, because the renewal of human possibility is good." (Leon Kass again).
So, if men hadn't cared to join hands in marriage and protect and provide for wife and children then all hope would have been dashed. And don't think this hasn't nearly happened a few times. Jesus was born of God and woman, but both he and his mother were cared for by a carpenter.
Salvation comes through Jesus Christ and he is our Lord. But I think a form of salvation comes through practical obedience and through childbirth. I want to be careful, for the child's sake, do not seek to make a baby so you can find the "first good news." But make yourself ready and worthy of a child and you will find fulfillment in that obedience. And practically you will make way for a new life that offers hope of a better life. This is where I might be stepping out on my own ... but I hope that my children have a better life than me. I can't be sure of that, but I am doing my best as a parent in hopes that it will go better for them. Kass again (and finally): "the child unifying the parents as sex or romance alone never can; and the desire to give not only life but a good way of life to their children opens both man and woman toward a concern for the true, the good, and the holy. Parental love of children may be the beginning of the sanctification of life."
So if you are going to find yourself or find God's will for your life or whatever language you want to use, make sure it fits in with his actual commands to protect and provide. Your wife is the bearer of life ... she is a daughter of Eve, the mother of all living. Don't waste such a precious gift.
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