Egregious Reader

Germany 1932 Politics in Germany mid 1932 were starting to get out of hand. In June Bruning resigned and Franz von Papen became Reich chancellor. “Many Germans expected the new Christian conservative government to restore stability.” At 26, Bonhoeffer preached “against Papan government’s misuse of God’s name: We read that a government has proclaimed that a whole nation is to be saved from collapse--by the Christian worldview. So we, individually and as a nation, are escaping from an inconceivable final catastrophe. 'In the name of God, amen,' is again to be the slogan, religion is again to be cultivated, and the Christian view of life is to be spread. How very meager, weak and pitiful it all sounds: do we believe that we will truly let ourselves be taken in by this 'In the name of God, amen'? That all our actions shall be governed by it? That we, rich and poor, Germans and French, will allow ourselves to be united by the name of God? Or is there not concealed behi...

Me and fifty men were turning aside for a bit of water. We all had amnesia and could remember nothing except that we were a kind of animal. We remembered the work we used to do, me an accountant, some engineers, some lawyers. But not one personal detail came back to us. Not one name, barely the concept of past. And we were out in a wild patch of forest. It was hilly and cool and filled with birds and gray squirrels. We had been wandering in this state for about two weeks. One of the engineers knew a lot about camping and hunting so he guided us and kept us fed and watered. We had no plans for there was not a good way to make any plans without personal knowledge. All that we could do was wander. It was the water brook that offered my first clue. It was really just a gulley, but the water was clear and the engineer said it was safe to drink. We were walking at night to avoid the heat. Something strange filled the air in that place. I was the last one to bend ...

"I told him that a man’s life is always dealing with permanence—that the most dangerous kind of irresponsibility is to think of your doings as temporary. That, anyhow, is what I’ve tried to keep before myself. What you do on the earth, the earth makes permanent.” Mat Feltner from Wendell Berry's A Place On Earth . This is a weighty thing to say, it makes me heavy to think of it, yet, I feel I must agree with it and take upon myself this weight. I think it is key that he says "man's life." There is a difference when you are a child, but once you have crossed into adulthood, by age or progeny, then you move beyond the realm of the temporal ... your actions, your deeds, what you do in the land, what you fail to do has lasting effects. It is wise to consider. It is wise to be deliberate. Mat goes on to apply this wisdom directly to his actions toward his own son who is missing in action in WWII. He is feeling the permanence of his fathering, knowing that he may...

I love to read books ... something about the incredible amount of life that can sit between two cardboard covers.  Some books represent a lifetime of thought, others lead you through a time lost, others explore people from the past.  So I read everyday, often in the morning and sometimes in the evening. Doing this I can achieve (according the good reads) approximately 30-40 books a year. Not bad. But I think this is the crazy part. Reading begets reading, without much effort I could list out 30-40 books that I would love to read and hope I do shortly. I probably have nearly that many on my bookshelves, books that I would love to read and hope to soon. If I took some time, I feel fairly confident I could turn that list into 200, just by looking over my shelves, reminding myself of the authors still to explore, the ones I have only barely touched, the ones that connect to subjects of interest, the ones that seem necessary to understand our crazy world, the worlds of interest...

“If there be among you a poor man of one of thy brethren within any of thy gates … thou shalt open thy hand wide unto him … Thou shalt open thy hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land.” Deut 15:7-11 KJV (KIV is the only to insert the word “wide” … obligation to charity has no limits.) “it is better to give to several that are not objects of charity, than to send away empty one that is” Jonathan Edwards “As God bestoweth his benefits upon us, let us beaware that we acknowledge it towards him, by doing good to our neighbors whom he offers unto us, so as we neither exempt ouselves from their want, nor seclude them from our abundance, but gently make them partakers with us, as folk that are linked together in an inseparable bond.” John Calvin’s sermon on Deut 15 These thoughts come from Marilynne Robinson’s essay Open Wide Thy Hand explaining that liberalism (meaning grace, mercy and generosity) as seen in America has its roots in Moses, Calvi...

My hands have an awful smell, like clothes left in the washing machine overnight. And my soul feels sour. What is it that causes such a stink in your invisible organs? When your heart feels so dull it hurts and your mouth curls in a scowl and you feel like if there was an open grave somewhere you might take a nap. And you see life and lovely people all around you but you feel yourself to be vapid with noxious gas. This overtakes me some days, like mildewed hands. And then I find myself unloading the dishes and putting away the pots. I see the bright green leaves of a cloudy day and I feel something free inside. I feel some energy in my stomach pit and my limbs move like they haven’t all day. Why such menial tasks could lift up a soul, I’ll never know. But they do. Sometimes.

I just finished the first part the "authoritative" Bonhoeffer biography. It is amazing and I am thoroughly enjoying it. A couple of years ago Eric Metaxes came out with a biography that was a very popular success, but it received heavy criticism as well, especially from academics. I read that book and enjoyed it. It was my second biography on Bonhoeffer but it was much more detailed and exciting than the other one I had read. I remember feeling somewhat frustrated that he received such negative press with titles like "Hijacking Bonhoeffer." It felt like sour grapes and a political war. I never felt like I found much substantial reasoning for the criticism. Today I finished the chapter of Bonhoeffer's time in America and I was able to see what the trouble was. Bonhoeffer was very critical of Union, especially of the lack of dogmatics and theology he saw in the students and the curriculum. Metaxes, perhaps unintentionally, played all this up. I had many quot...

I have been on a little run of re-reading Chaim Potok in hopes of continuing on to finish all his novels this year. In college we were required to read The Chosen and I found a very deep connection to this book. So deep in fact, that my teacher, who was moving to Mongolia to teach English, gave me her copy of The Promise (the sequel). So late last year I re-read the Chosen for probably the third time and again deeply connected with the story of Ruevan and Danny and their fathers and their faith and their questions. I went on to my second reading of The Promise and found I felt as deep personal connection with the characters in this book. Last week I finished my second reading of My Name is Asher Lev. I think because I have begun to venture more and more into the realm of creative writing I felt the questions Asher was forced to face about the conflict between art and his family/community directly. The book is about a gifted boy, gifted at drawing, but more it is his sight tha...

"The rug--or let us say the bourgeios parquet floor--has been ruthlessly pulled out from under our feet, and we must now search for a bit of earth on which to stand." Bonhoeffer 1928 Mind broken over scraps of metal and ruin. I scrape along under maroon clouds wondering what we will become. Mist and haze all around, smoke clouds as if lifting off a great crowd of milling people, but no one is here. Only burning cars. Pools of water appear to reflect the heavens. Gorecki’s aria begins. The strings are slow to swell and then deep at first. A beautiful voice sings out: Mamo, nie płacz, nie. (No, Mother, do not weep) Niebios Przeczysta Królowo, (Most chaste Queen of Heaven) Ty zawsze wspieraj mnie. (Support me always.) Then the piano and the last line sings out:                        Zdrowas Maria (Holy Mother) All smoke ceases as the cars dissolve into dirt. The ground itself seems to rise in little hill...